A friend asked how I was doing one day among routine greetings.
My mind mulled over a response about the perils of this reality before I finally admitted,
“I’m fine. Actually, I’m really well. Any problem I have is self inflicted.”
. . . . . . . . .
So, you want to make a change? As all the greats ones say, “start within.” You want light in this world? Be a fucking light. It’s pretty much that easy.
In each and every moment, we have a choice as to how to respond to the stimuli that saturates our existence.
. . . . . . . .
Prior to returning to St. Louis at the turn of 2016, I had:
- road tripped the wild West
- worked on primitive farms
- met some rad and bizarre folks from all over, each of whom left their pieces and shards on my heart and soul.
- spent weeks at a time living from a tent in the heart of the Rocky Mountains.
- developed an appreciation for the beauty of a chainsaw and the art of felling.
- followed a dream of completing a 200hr yoga teacher training amongst the Smoky Mountain town called Asheville.
(an amuse-bouche of Kels circa 2013-2016)
And god, it was all just so… real.
Nothing engages the attention more than getting to camp early enough to set up a bear hang or the topic of de-brief around the fire. The primordial existence.
“And life when the season ends?”
Who cares; there’s something so exhilaratingly graceful about the unknown of a new adventure and knowing you can literally go anywhere.
But the time finally arrived when the part of me needing to experience 314 post-grad slid into place.
But how do you fit such a wild soul into concrete confines?
Anaïs Nin makes my heart throb as she explains,
Things are calling me away.
My hair is being pulled by the stars again. ”
This is a constant. The vision of an open door. The entire world to explore.
But alas, I regain faith in the universal path. Because here I am, intentionally.
As we all are.
There is a reason for our being in each and every moment, space and time.
Sometimes you have to trundle a few rocks to find it, and other times it will spontaneously take your breath away like an alpine view – no matter where the pin has dropped in the world.
And in the end, it’s really about the people you vibe with along the way.
For all of you, I am eternally grateful.
In active reflection in the universe,
I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going.
And I have trained myself to love it.
Because it is only when were are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight.
And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to go.
But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings.
You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.